Where to begin? Well, first off, I come from a life focussed on scarsity at it's core (scarsity manifesting in pain, betrayal, hunger, fear, and the list goes on). This eventually resulted in alot of anger, which fed on the scarsity, which produced more anger, and so on and so on.
Well, just at the right time, at the right moment in my developement as a being, came along a certain Dr. Wayne Dyer and his book 'The Power of Intention'. I read it, I watched the PBS special several times (oddly, it kept coming on tv.......at one point, I wondered if it weren't being aired in a loop fashion, so as to keep it on the air all the time). That was the Source knocking on the locked door of my life.
I read the book, I took notes, and I put into practise ALMOST all of the thoughts relayed to me lovingly through Dr. Dyer's words. My ego was still in control at this stage, still held me back from something that I thought at the time was 'too good to be true'. So, in my misery, I decided to do all of the stuff in the book, EXCEPT meditate twice a day. This way, my ego could still be right in the event that the whole thing derailed on me. Being right was extremely important to me at the time. It was like a rebellion type of thing for me, where my ego's opinion HAD to win out all the time.
Anyway, I'd contemplate, visualize, affirm........and nothing would happen. Over monthes, nothing would happen, if anything, stuff seemed to get worse. This, I realize now, was because I was coming at my desires DIRECTLY through my ego. My ego was still dictating everything that happened to me. I wanted fame, fortune, and a life of stress free comfort.....ego ego ego.
So I stopped this self sabotage and got down to the brass tacks. I dug into the roots of what I REALLY wanted and needed, and started working towards those goals......AND, I started meditating twice a day (Jappa meditation).
Once I focussed on what I really wanted and needed in life, shoved my ego out of the way, things really started to happen.....quite quickly I might add....because I was coming from Me, the spirit part of me that is here to experience life, not make demands of life in order to measure up.
Once I really let go (and that was tough to do) of what my ego thought I wanted, and I started addressing what I really needed, it all fell into place for me. It was scarey to let go of the things that I had grown so used to needing, like money for example. I felt comfortable in yearning for things that I thought I didn't have, but wanted desperately. It was tough to let go of the usual, and to accept what to me, was the 'unusual'. But I made that leap and have not looked back since.
Now, I meditate on just a few things (things that by their nature, take care of other needs I've had) twice a day. I intend, I affirm, and I keep a CONSTANT vigil to keep my ego at bay (though soon, I know I won't have to worry about my ego so much anymore....I intend to get through that too). I intend, and I let my intentions go. I don't fiddle with them later in the day. I dettach from the outcomes and am pleasantly surprised when the situation is taken care of, in a much more creative way than I ever could have imagined.
Now, today, I am writing a book. I just got my advance from my publisher the other day, and can now pay my bills. I am an artist/writer now, which has been a life long dream so buried, that I had quietly forgotten about it. Yet, the Source remembers and here it is, happening right now. I have a part time job that I LOVE, with the hours that work best for me. I am able to receive my reiki attunement coming up, which also is in answer to my intention. My bills are paid, my stomach is full, and my marriage has hit this beautiful harmonious place that has really surprised me. All because I got my REAL needs straightened out and set my ego aside. All because I became the faces of Intention.
This method works my friends. It really really does, but it's not a quick fix or any sort of instant gratification. It is a method, a process, that once you catch hold of it, will happily lead you to places you might only be able to dream about right now. Once you identify your TRUE needs and nurture that Soul of yours, which is your true essence, then you can really start to cocreate your ideal life, with the power of Intention backing you the entire way.
This is possible for every last human being on this earth. Once you catch hold and put into practise ALL that is in the book, things will just fall into their loving places. Your entire life will change. You will start to see just how connected we all really are, connected to each other, and to our Source. What I have written here are my break throughs. I came to the realizations that had been staring me in the face for so long. And happily, I don't even care that I didn't learn all of this sooner. If I had had a lovely life up until now, I'd not have this wealth of stories and experiences to write about now. That might be an odd way to say it, but I'm just trying to say that I not only accept my past, but now see it's worth, not only in shaping me as a person, but in helping my greatest dreams to come true. I never once thought that my crappy life would ever come in handy, or dare I say it, 'further me' as a person in a new life, but it has.
Well, I need to go now. It's time to meditate. I hope I haven't rambled too long, and I hope someone can gain some sort of strength from my story to keep going, keep trying. I try my best every day, and that's all I can ask of myself. Some days are better than others, but I'm trying. Hang in there all. Keep going.
Break through those ego walls (fear, pain, etc) and reclaim the one thing that is truly, uniquely yours your Soul, your spark of the divine, your connection to the other half of you, which is the Source of All. It's all right there for you, for the accepting. Let it happen and I garauntee you....you will never regret it. Namaste` to all.