Dr. Wayne Dyer

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Overcoming despair

Ron

07-10-2004 18:21:53

First of all what is despair? How do you define it? According to Webster it is the loss of hope. It is the lonliness we feel; the fear we sense, the unworthiness we believe we are. Where does something like despair come from? From no one and nothing else but us! There are two emotions in our world - love and fear. That's it! Something is either love or fear. Now Love is easy because it is all encompassing - it is our truth, but a truth that we have forgotten more of than we do remember. Fear is a natural to us because with fear, we are constantly on our guard against everyone and everything. We are in a high state of alert constantly. We live in utter chaos even though we believe we have everything under control. Do you see where fear is? It is the outside world we make as ego. Love is always within, and we can project and do project love from within out. But fear rules our lives and we are slaves to it. We say we know of two for sure things in our world - birth and death - and yet we fear death and not one of knows why! Death is but an experience in this world we make, albeit the last one, but nonetheless, an experience. But how does fear have such a strong hold over us, how can it drive from us all hope - despair? Fear is only as powerful as we make it - and we do make the fear and then we give it value - this is more fearful than this. We have all had experiences where we have gone through our fears - we have walked through them and seen them for what they were - a nothing of illusion. Oh, some will still talk about the time they were scared and yet moved on - but if they still talk about the fear as having any power, they haven't really moved on. So why is fear present in our world; why do we make it as ego? We make fear so that our truth will be covered from our view, so that we will not see who and what we really are. We make fears to keep us chasing after "rainbows" because we believe we need the pot of gold hiding there - only to find no pot, but we do find another fear to chase as an alternative. Ego will constantly lead us on chases without endings because ego knows no endings - it has no plan. When we surrender our life, we bring back to us the hope we hid from ourselves. When we realize that life will be shown to us, life just go a whole lot easier to live.

Namaste - Ron

nan58

11-10-2004 17:39:12

Hi
What if there really is threat of danger in form of initimidation - possible physical and definatley emotional assualt. I say get out of the way. In the Course in Miracle it states "the ego is suspicious at best and vicious at worst. It is the death machine." It is something you need protection from. It seems naive to go skippy into the arms of a predator like person.
I'm trying to get free from a situation where there are predatory people disguised as somehting helpful and noble. I chose to ignor and stay away and try to raise my own loving level. I can't send love to them because love can't be forsed and I don't feel love for them. I realizze that if it's ot love then it's a call for love. I ask God, Jesus and any onyone unseen to send them what I am unable to do. I still have creepy feelings and I'm hypervigalent. Can't seem to kick it.

violetsite

12-10-2004 10:47:57

Hi
What if there really is threat of danger in form of initimidation - possible physical and definatley emotional assualt. I say get out of the way. In the Course in Miracle it states "the ego is suspicious at best and vicious at worst. It is the death machine." It is something you need protection from. It seems naive to go skippy into the arms of a predator like person.
I'm trying to get free from a situation where there are predatory people disguised as somehting helpful and noble. I chose to ignor and stay away and try to raise my own loving level. I can't send love to them because love can't be forsed and I don't feel love for them. I realizze that if it's ot love then it's a call for love. I ask God, Jesus and any onyone unseen to send them what I am unable to do. I still have creepy feelings and I'm hypervigalent. Can't seem to kick it.

Nan,

Do not be afriad, we are here to help you.

You can change your situation and your life, by developing self love for YOU. This is not ego, do not confuse ego with self love. It sounds like the people who are abusing you have too much ego, not you. You must make your mind strong so you trust yourself again; make yourself SURE of what you are SURE of, not what someone else tells you .

Meditate 30 minutes each day in a quiet environment. {Even if you have to go in the bathroom!} Repeat positive affirmations to yourself, even though you may feel like you are not yet what you are saying, you will become what you are saying, if you keep doing it.

Most importanly, if you cannot control anything around you, you can still control your breathing, so BREATHE! Slowly, purposefully, in and out, in and out... you've got it! You have to have oxygen in your brain to think clearly.

Wayne Dyer says, "If you can see it, you can be it!".

Here is a site to help you "see it"
http://www.coping.org/growth/affirm.htm

I'll be thinking of you three times a day, my friend. When I eat a meal I will send positive energy to you. It will strengthen you, guide you back to your true self, your true nature as a loving human being. Just start with yourself first. Only YOU define YOU!

wink

Ron

17-10-2004 19:27:39

Nan - you wrote
"In the Course in Miracle it states "the ego is suspicious at best and vicious at worst. It is the death machine."

You realize of course, that the ego you speak of is you? It is what you believe you are in the body you believe in the world you make and also believe in. It is a death machine, for it only lead to the experience of death - the death of itself - the end of this dream. But you, in Truth, are eternal. The ego is along for the duration of this dream. You can fight it all the way, or learn to control it to some degree. Offer the ego love and the ego knows not what to do with love. The ego is often quiet when love is given it.

"I'm trying to get free from a situation where there are predatory people disguised as somehting helpful and noble. I chose to ignor and stay away and try to raise my own loving level. I can't send love to them because love can't be forsed and I don't feel love for them. I realizze that if it's ot love then it's a call for love."

Doing the Course and reading Dyer, you know that the people you see are but reflections of the thoughts you hold about yourself. They mirror what you think you are, often at a subconscious level. When love is sent to another, it is never forced but always received. Perhaps the other is not aware of it at the moment, but nonetheless the love is recieved. If you look at Love as God, then God can never be declined, only denied. If you don't feel love for others - all others - you don't feel love for yourself. My favorite practice for this is stand before a mirror and tell the image that you love it - that you love that image as God loves you - unconditionally - no strings attached. And you stand there and repeat that over and over until you feel yourself dropping the facade you are looking at and begin to see the image in Truth of who you are. You cannot give to another what you do not have for yourself.

"I ask God, Jesus and any onyone unseen to send them what I am unable to do. I still have creepy feelings and I'm hypervigalent. Can't seem to kick it."

But no one else can do this but you - you alone have the power to see others differently. Some fear is holding you back. Some fear you do not perhaps wish to address but nonetheless is blocking your view and I think it has for some time, right? This is not something that just started but something that has been going on for a very long time. Because you are where you are on your spiritual path, you are now in a place of Love to look at that fear, see it for what it is, and move on. You can do it. We all send you love and will hold you in our minds as you begin your journey through yet another passage of darkness. But you do not walk it alone.

Namaste - Ron

nan58

25-10-2004 12:37:46

Thanks Ron.
I apprectate the encouragement. I wish there was a support group in my area. Are there any efforts in this forum for people to meet in person that you know of?
Nan

Ron

25-10-2004 15:41:35

Nan - if you live close to me, I would meet and listen to you no matter what the time. Via the internet, search in your area for an EA group - this is a support group that is just for emotions. Try it a few times and let me know the results. If you can't find one, let me know, here or privately, where you live, and I will see what I can find. Just your wanting help has your hand extended for help, and help will come to you. Stay with us.

Namaste - Ron

Eykis

25-10-2004 22:09:20

EA also has a Yahoo Intenet email list and chat.

EA is a 12 step program and can be very helpful. The secret of a 12 step program is a good sponsor and working the program.

The interesting part is the more I study different religions, ancient truths, ACIM and 12 step programs, the more they all have the same basic messages, just expressed differently.

violetsite

25-10-2004 23:03:02

The interesting part is the more I study different religions, ancient truths, ACIM and 12 step programs, the more they all have the same basic messages, just expressed differently.

I agree. The same ideology can be applied to written or spoken human language iteslf.

I believe it is factual proof of a planetary and possibly a universal collective conscious.

I feel bad for some "Athiests" I know IRL. They have a hard time with this issue. I'm not sure what they tell themselves, but they sure get quiet after this point is brought up during a discussion. Hopefully in this lifetime, this ideology will broaden our knowledge regarding the realms of reality unknown.

kjkane47

28-10-2004 14:57:11

"Hope's the belief that sooner or later things will get better." )

Anonymous

10-11-2004 20:33:55

Hi Everyone

My name is Maritza, I live in Deltona, Florida. I recently had an experience in my life that destroyed my self-esteem. I'm lost and feel so alone, and I'm in need of comfort words and guidance. I just came across PBS, and was hearing Dr. Wayne Dyer. Decided to get into the internet and see if I can come across good people who can help me. I've always been strong woman, but this time I believe that I can't overcome this on my own. Is their anyone out their who is honest and can give me guiding words. This is all new to me, so please forgive me if I come across ignorant.

Thank You

juanita

08-12-2004 13:42:09

i don't know where to start, i live in the southeastern part of texas, we moved here in 1997, my husband was offered a job in the area, i thought is was going to be wonderful for all, it has been the best for my sons, and hisband, but i can't seem to adjust to living here, having no family around, nor friends, i just don't like it here, this to me is the worst place i have lived in. there have been close calls on giving up, sometimes i have think that there is no recourse. my husband may or may not be promoted, next year, so that in it self is not a happy thought to me, to live here till who knows how long, he has looked into other jobs online but i know that he would like to stay here and wait for his promotion, till then what can i do, but stick it out with him maybe someone out there has some advice for me cry

Ron

11-12-2004 08:20:51

Faith - this group is about helping others. We can't do it for you, but we can offer suggestions about how you might do it. But you will have to be a bit more open about your problem. If you feel more comfortable, write me direct. You are not ignorant! And just think that you came here because it is the right and perfect place for you. You have been directed here for a purpose. I hope you are still around.

Namaste - Ron

Ron

11-12-2004 08:32:51

You wrote "...i live in the southeastern part of texas, we moved here in 1997, my husband was offered a job in the area, i thought is was going to be wonderful for all, it has been the best for my sons, and hisband, but i can't seem to adjust to living here, having no family around, nor friends, i just don't like it here, this to me is the worst place i have lived in. there have been close calls on giving up, sometimes i have think that there is no recourse. my husband may or may not be promoted, next year, so that in it self is not a happy thought to me, to live here till who knows how long, he has looked into other jobs online but i know that he would like to stay here and wait for his promotion, till then what can i do, but stick it out with him maybe someone out there has some advice for me"

It appears that you are not living in th SE part of Texas, but in the land of fear. If you think you are lonely now, just think how lonely you will feel away from your sons and husband. So it has been "best for your sons and your husband" but not for you? How come? Do you go to any churches there? What are your interests? And do you know that somewhere in your immediate area is living another person who feels as lost as you do? Your depression is fear. It has now been 7 or 8 years since you moved here; what has recently changed that is causing this feeling or did you have it when you first moved here? It would appear that you have a lot to be happy with - a husband and two sons, more than some people are blessed with. You have to look at the fears you have and then be prepared to work through them. We can help you with suggestions, but the work is yours to do. One of the first things you might do is call your local library and see if there is an EA group in your area - if so - attend a few meet ings to see how this fits for you. EA is Emotions Anonymous - a 12 step program that has worked miracles for many.

So, if you are open to it, tell some of your fears of being where you are. And we will walk with you step by step as you go through them. You have everything to gain and absolutely nothing to lose, but fear.

Namaste - Ron