Dr. Wayne Dyer

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stuck

Anonymous

28-04-2005 18:12:43

Hello fellow spirits,

I have found myself in an unpleasant place. I have fallen in love with someone, someone with whom has expressed a desire to take the time to allow our attraction and respect build prior to making changes in our lives to enable our relationship. Simply put, we are wading on the shore. Our current relationships must inevitably end for a honest, meaningful connection to take place, and that takes time. I am not one for a slow build up to getting what I want, however I know it is necesary to building a healthy foundation. There are so many things that could derail us before we ever get to a solid place. I fear making a hasty choice that will scare him away. That scares me. I would so very much appreciate some inspiring insights into helping me along this journey.

Namaste,
Nate

celia

29-04-2005 07:56:10

Hi Nate,

I believe that what you are seeking is patience. Someone told me once that patience is learning how to do other things while you wait. It is hard to allow things to unfold in God's time and not ours. Trusting that your source, higher power,will guide your relationships, puts us in a somewhat powerless condition.At least that is how it feels when you begin to do it. It is an act of loving faith to let go of outcomes. We do have the power though to approach the situations and relationships in our lives. We can choose to give it right to God. Or give it, take it back, give it again etc. which is a common human experience. And that's o.k. We are humans. Learning patience is not always an automatic thing, but remember to celebrate every little bit of progress you make on this.
I used to say this prayer, "God, please take this relationship and make of it what You will it to be." Sometimes the relationships were experiences that helped me to grow, to grieve , to learn patience, to just laugh with another person, to practice my relationship skills until my spouse finally showed up in my life.
Take comfort in the fact that you are on the shoreline. It's a beautiful place to be. Walking slowly on the beach hand in hand, with a light touch you both can discover many treasures, beautiful weather and the slowness your partner asks for is actually a blessing in disguise. You will have the chance to really know each other and enjoy each other without rushing ahead and have all steps securely in place for the foundation of your relationship however God(and to some extent the two of you) intends for it to be. You will get to the place you seek if it is what will be.If you get to a different place and your relationship ends, look for the lesson in it. There is always a lesson to be found.
My husband and I were on that shore for four years before we made the legal jump to marriage. I was damaged and had much work to do to put past issues behind me and heal. I truly needed the slow unfolding for my own healing. Our relationship was really based on who we are and now with a child and everyday life, despite occassional tension, I have never felt more myself and more at ease.
Give your partner time. Give it as a gift. Enjoy the shore.

Anonymous

29-04-2005 14:32:58

Celia,

that was what I wanted to hear, I think I know that but had buried it beneath the anxiety. I intend to concentrate on the moment and savor the journey. Thank you. There is a spiritual solution to every problem!

Nate

celia

30-04-2005 20:52:06

I am so thrilled that my writing was helpful to you!
Thank YOU for giving ME the chance to be helpful!
And you don't have to thank me for thanking you because that could go on and on and take up all of the space!
wink Celia

p.s.- Don't be hard on yourself regarding anxiety and "forgetting" People need to hear things at least three times to commit it to internal memory, in most circumstances. I am an Elementary school teacher Nate, and have reviewed research on the brain in this area...for College, not for kicks.