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Linda Harris on Applying Dyer to Sexual Abuse Issues

InspiresYOU.com Team

05-07-2004 11:54:45

From Linda Harris
Subject how do you apply universal principles to a case of sexual molestation?
Date Wed, 7 Nov 2001 122502 -0700


I have been a listener of Wayne Dyer's for many years, as have my mom, two sisters and two brothers. We have a family situation that has me stumped on how to approach/understand it.

In January my 15-year old niece disclosed to a school official that her step-father had been sexually molesting her and her younger sister for a number of years. My sister already know, but hadn't told anyone, hoping that he would self-refer to a specialist.

As soon as charges were filed, my sister's main concern became how to keep him from going to jail. (By the way, he did confess.) The rest of our family has pretty much stayed out of things, at my sister's request. Finally, however, we all seem to have simultaneously run out of our desire to stay out of it, due mainly to the fact that we feel the girls are repeatedly (as in every time my sister goes out to dinner or to the movie or to play cards with him) getting the message that he is more important than they are.

When I say to my sister, "We don't hate him, but he and God are going to have to sort out where he goes from here. It is not your business. Your obligations and commitments to him ended when he betrayed your trust and became a predator to your children," she says, "How can you listen to Wayne and Deepak and say that? My children are going to be fine, but he never had anyone give him unconditional love. "

To which I reply, they say everything is in the order of the universe, but you don't have to wallow in it. And I think of Marianne Williamson's statement, "Unconditional love I can understand, but not unconditional dating." I don't believe that unconditional love means not having to suffer consequences of a deliberate act.

I can remain objective in many instances, but when I see the effect this is having on two young girls, I no longer can stand to be the dispassionate bystander. BUT, I love my sister and don't want to alienate her either, although for the first time in my life I am almost ready to risk it, if it will help my nieces who seem to have no parent at all.

Any insights?

Linda Harris

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