Dr. Wayne Dyer

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How do I detach myself from suffering?


22-04-2006 12:49:42

I have a really tough challenge on my hands. I understand that thoughts create reality, and the more I focus on something the more it shows up in my life. One thing that daily haunts me are my emotions. I've had some relationships in the past that has left me emotional scared. And it's affecting the way I deal with my current relationships. My problem is, how do I forget about the hurt I've experienced in the past?

I walk around with a huge knot in my chest daily, because the sadness from the past, will not go away. And the sadness is amplified once I try to move on care or for someone else. But if I continue to feel this sad, how am I ever going to manifest something positive. I try to feed my mind positive messages, I try to look in the mirror and tell myself how wonderful I am. But unfortunately the past is still manifesting itslef into my current life. And I'm doing all I can to break this torturous existence. Is it ok to feel pain, rejection, Jealousy? For some reason it seems that my emotions are addicted to being hurt, and that's what keeps manifesting in my life.

I just want to be happy, I want a normal life, I'm a very good looking and intelligent man, but neagitive forces are working strongly against me. I just don't know what to do anymore. But I will be sucsessful, I will find right Woman, and I will manifest what my heart desires. Just having challenging time getting there.


14-05-2006 09:53:22

Hello fellow hopeful romantic!

Hmmm...sounds like that knot may get you into bigger trouble if you let it.

I think when I used to despair like this a while back, I'd normally get to the nitty gritty and face my demons. Literally. I normally faced all my weaknesses, fears etc in my meditation sessions.

I would literally think of the fear in my stomach and then go on to the thought processes that lead up to this fear and face them. I would go through each visual in my mind and ponder over it and find out why they would be so negative and bring suffering/pain to me. And as I keep facing them over the course of a period of time, I silently bless them and tell them that they don't serve me anymore and just let it go.

I think this helps to bring the veil of illusion down a bit for me, at least. First of all, EVERYTHING you see, feel in this materialistic plane is an illusion so while you're experiencing it, one forgets that it's just a game. A game designed to help you find your inner soul and the joy you seek.

I kinda think of Life as a canvas these days and I'm the artist. I pretty much get the kind of painting I want depending on the strokes of the brush I make and the colours I use when I make my daily choices but I've also secretly learnt that it's important to play and witness that this is illusion and that one can manipulate it (for want of a better word) and really overcome fear and doubt when one sees through it and cuts through that delusion to realise it's really nothing to begin with and that it was all conjured up by your thoughts in your head.

Existence will still carry on, with or without you see? It's only whether you wanna make full use of it while you're here and that's why the big G is always loving and benevolent. He's given us an infinite amount of paints to play with. You benefit everytime.



22-05-2006 22:24:49

I was somewhat where you are 1 1/2 years ago, when a very distructive long term, relationship ended. I found this quote to be very helpful for me. If the direction you want to go towards is forward...do not continue to look backwards. Author unknown. We are not our history! I started to study everything I could find on "The Law Of Attraction. The basic rule of this law as I understand it is... That which is like unto itself is drawn, what you think about expands. Reading the works of Wayne Dyer, Ester Hicks & Florence Scovel Shinn. The most helpful was Ester Hicks book "Ask And It Is Given" with the forward being written and the book highly endorsed by Wayne Dyer. He saying and I quote " I've been profoundly touched and influenced by the messages that Abraham offers in this book" & " They offer no less than a blue print for understanding and implementing your own destiny". The first hard pill to swallow for me was one of self responsibility. Realizing, accepting & believing that every thought I think creates a vibration. Every future moment is created with the thoughts/vibrations I project outwards from me, in this now moment. If you have good feeling emotions, that is a clue you are headed in the right direction, if you have a bad feeling emotions you are going in the wrong direction of your well being. There is no more coulda, shoulda, woulda. Or pointing fingers at what he said, she said, he did, she did. It felt at times as tho my thoughts where thinking for me, I now know, I and only I choose each thought I think. No one else thinks my thoughts for me, or chooses the thoughts I think. What drum are you beating? Good thoughts/bad thoughts? What has always been/What you would like now? A belief is only a thought you have thought often and given power to, it now has a sort of a emotional momentum. A thought is only a thought and a thought can be changed. It may feel for you as it did for me, that you are trying to slow down and stop a 100 mph train, to get it to go in the opposite direction. It doesn't happen in a snap, but with commitment, practice & dedication, you and only you can turn your thoughts towards the positive & create & draw everything good towards you. Ya can't just do 10 minutes of affirmations then spend the rest of the day thinking and spewing out negative crap! Also if you do positive affirmations/intentions in a kinda lack luster unemotional way, then express or think negative thoughts in a Academy award winning emotionally charged performance , you will find yourself right back at square one, not feeling good... muttering "But I did my affirmations" I would also recomend the movie "What The Bleep do We Know" It explains how your negative or positive thoughts you think gather in your sub-conscious mind. Making it easyer to be drawn to the larger group or collection of thoughts all ready stored. If you tend to think negative more often, ya just need to do some house cleaning up there. Don't beat your self up! Like Dr. Phil say's "You do better when, ya know better. I am doing so much better now that I know better and you will too! Read the book, it outlines step by step how to shift your thoughts. It's like learning a new language, not impossible...but ya gotta practice! Ya get out of it..what ya put into it! Peace, Lola


25-09-2006 07:59:23

Something I've been using for ages now, might be worth giving it a shot - be prepared because this will radically change your life - but don't take my word for it - do it and you'll see Whenever you feel your solar plexus being disturbed i.e. your mind is focusing on thoughts that you don't want, close your eyes just for a moment, look up at the top of your head (crown) - while repeating as fast as you can in your mind STOP,STOP,STOP,STOP,STOP..... Keep on going for a while, in the beginning it's difficult but with time, this tool becomes invaluable - like anything else the mind needs to be trained before it will work with you.

Love to hear back.


26-09-2006 01:05:51

All i think that you enjoy your feeling,even it's painful.you like it.as you said it becomes part of your life(addicted).
I have the feeling you have now.And i love my pain.but i know it's gonna hurt me and cause of that hurts. i started to study about it and how can i let this pain go.i think it's better to involve your self in your life,your works,your friends.if you involve yourself on them,you will see that you won't have time to think about your pain,at least twice a weak you will think about it,then this pain will go and it becomes a memory of your past. I know it's hard at the first steps but it works.

don't forget that you are still alive!!!


29-09-2006 08:36:47

First of all, EVERYTHING you see, feel in this materialistic plane is an illusion

PROVE IT. I'd like to see you walk through a wall. I'd like to see you dodge bullets like in the matrix. I'd like to see you make people and objects float or something like a person can in dreams.

A magician, think his name is Randy The Great, is offering a million dollars to anyone who can prove some sort of psychic ability.


29-09-2006 15:59:15



03-10-2006 10:44:42

Hi Hopeful romantic,

Everyone here has such wonderful advice, each from a little different perspective but all so similar. Yes, I agree, you may be relating to your pain (holding on to it) because you understand it and know it so well. That will only bring more of the same as Loloducks and BN pointed out from "Law of Attraction". Have you seen the movie "The Secret?" It talks about using the Law of Attraction to get anything we want. Highly recommended. Also, if you're into meditation as Cheeky Kid suggested, there is a new web site that makes meditation so very simple. None of the old boring enviromental sounds. Big promo right now but go to the section where it say "join for free" below all the ads. Site is http://www.harmonicascension.com My suggestion is try to jump back into life as if you had never been hurt, as if this were your first dating experience, or better yet, forget about dating for awhile and just have fun by joining group that do things together (hiking clubs, ski clubs, book clubs) There people focus on hobbies they enjoy and no necessarily on looking for a someone special. If the group you find does not feel that way, find another one. Some many groups are always welcoming new members. Give it all a shot and keep us posted. We are all in this "big event" together. We are all connected through One Source.

Wishing you peace and joy,