Dr. Wayne Dyer

Dr. Wayne Dyer Fan Discussion Board
-By Fans, For Fans-

To post or not to post - that appears to be a problem

Ron

21-01-2005 09:53:09

While Chris is encouraging members to post, I want to address this from the other side - for those that do not post. I have had the experience of having many students in classes that I have taught on the Course, and I have experience many, many students sitting in classes each week and never saying more than a simple "Hello." They were there because of some inner urging for more to life than what they were currently experiencing. Many of them came from broken relationships or abusive family histories. In their quietness you could hear their call for love - you could feel their fears without them being expressed. And whether they verbally contributed to the class or not, their very presence was a lesson for all in attendance. The acceptance of another person just as they are and where they are. Many people on this board contribute their thoughts so that others may learn from them. Many people on this board ask questions, and by responding to them, we all learn. Many people on this board simply read and try to absorb some of which is posted, grateful that Chris has this board in their life. Participation is great, but "forced" participation is an ego trip at best. People will come and post as they are so led by the inner truth within them. Many of us go through a "dark night of the soul" where we feel as if we are in a cocoon and the time for breaking open is not yet come. When the time comes, as it will, we emerge ready to share our thoughts with others. Meanwhile, we sit in the quiet and read the postings of others - others who are our own messengers. Chris, please reconsider your "rules" on posting on this board. There are many who read here, but are unable to post their feelings yet. There are many calling for love, and it is with love that we must respond. I realize it is cold outside, but there is no need for "ear-muffs" here.

Namaste - Ron

Ba

22-01-2005 23:26:32

Ron,
I am compelled to speak on this point. I experience daily a society where the masses are urged if not whipped up into a frenzy of blurting out the first unformed thought that enters their mind. Within this space I have experienced such a break from the mainstream stereotype of 'give an opinion without due thought'. It is such a relief to be able to experience such a calm and contemplative arena, of a space for thought. Expression when the urge hits rather than when it is demanded is a relief. The process of ruminating over a thought process is a skill lost in our instant gratification techno society, one that should be encouraged.
Ba

AnotherSeeker

25-01-2005 10:07:05

I'm posting to keep my account open as I like to read this forum!

chris knight

25-01-2005 10:27:32

I'm posting to keep my account open as I like to read this forum!


Better idea Find some place else within this forum to add value.

To post for "posts sake" is lame. Sorry for the bluntness.

Add value to the forum is the price of admission.

When posting, ask yourself "Am I Adding or Taking Value with my post?"

8)

chris knight

25-01-2005 10:32:41

Chris, please reconsider your "rules" on posting on this board. There are many who read here, but are unable to post their feelings yet. There are many calling for love, and it is with love that we must respond. I realize it is cold outside, but there is no need for "ear-muffs" here.
Namaste - Ron

My intention was to seek out locked up hidden value within the souls of those who have lurked and learned, but not lurked and added value.

Frankly, I still don't get why someone would join a board and then not post at all when you can clearly read the posts without having to be a member.

In other forums I manage, stirring the pot has had very positive affects.

Luckily I don't have time to go play micro-board-manager this month or next month, so forum members that have not posted are safe... but I still would like to see them add value to the group.

Friendship requires two or more people to add value to each other to ensure the friendship continues. When one friend adds no value to the other, the friendship dissolves.

AnotherSeeker

25-01-2005 10:38:52

Frankly, I am a newcomer to Dyer's readings and I find reading the board more beneficial to me right now. In time, I will post on personal experience when I think I have something to add.

As far as for now, I have found new found calm and peace in all the tapes and books I have read in the last several months and it has given me more of a focus in music performance, particularly in improvisation.

Reading some music books on performance lead me to Dyer's books indirectly (Effortless Mastery by Kenny Werner and "The Inner Game of Music")

I am a musician (rock, jazz, some classical) and college adjunct instructor in music as far as "what I do", but we all know you are not "what you do", unless of course you like the old Lee Michaels' song.8)

Ron

26-01-2005 14:51:24

Chris states

My intention was to seek out locked up hidden value within the souls of those who have lurked and learned, but not lurked and added value.

Ron I think you are caught in the trap of judging - lurking means what? Lurking means someone is reading the posts but decides for many different reasons not to respond. The posts here are for ALL to read, not just those that will comment on them. Whenever a post of anyone is read by another person, then the purpose of the post was sucessful. We are here for each other - we cannot heal alone, only together.

Frankly, I still don't get why someone would join a board and then not post at all when you can clearly read the posts without having to be a member.

Ron Frankly, you won't get it because it is not for you to get. What is the purpose of this board? Is it to be able to be read by anyone or is to be read only by members? That part you have control over. Who posts and when, you have no control over.

In other forums I manage, stirring the pot has had very positive affects.

Ron Some soups are best left just to simmer; stirring could affect the finished product.

Luckily I don't have time to go play micro-board-manager this month or next month, so forum members that have not posted are safe... but I still would like to see them add value to the group.

Ron I truly hope you did not mean this to come across as a warning, but it could be taken that way. What are those members who do not post safe from? Your board is tool for some of us to be used along our spiritual path. Others may find your board to be a safe haven where they can go and read the answer to the question they are holding in their heart. No one walks away from a reading on your board without that reading affecting them in some way.

Friendship requires two or more people to add value to each other to ensure the friendship continues. When one friend adds no value to the other, the friendship dissolves.

Ron Remember the saying which goes something like "Where two or more are gathered..." Friendship is the love in my heart given to the love of another - whoever they are. Value in our world is that which we place on something. There is no value one can place on the love that is shared on this board. With each friendship is a lesson for us to learn. If we fail to learn that lesson, we will come upon it again in another friendship. Friendships are seen often as our classrooms, where we best pay attention to what is being presented. My friend is my teacher, and I am my teacher to my friend.

You are a great link for many of us in the discussion of not only Dyer, but of spirituality in general. You are providing all of us - posters and lurkers alike - a safe place to come, visit, read, savor, respond if so led, and leave with a bit of knowledge and love we didn't have when we first came. That is part of how you and this board is seen to me. Don't worry about stirring the pot, just allow us to add more flavor to the main course.

Namaste - Ron

Anonymous

27-01-2005 19:58:54

If I post, and share my thoughts - I should be free to do so provided those thoughts meet with the forums objectives ... blah blah....

If I wish to read and not post - I should feel free to do that as well.

Why should either be an issue?




My quick thoughts anyway.....................

chris knight

27-01-2005 21:11:30

You are a great link for many of us in the discussion of not only Dyer, but of spirituality in general. You are providing all of us - posters and lurkers alike - a safe place to come, visit, read, savor, respond if so led, and leave with a bit of knowledge and love we didn't have when we first came. That is part of how you and this board is seen to me. Don't worry about stirring the pot, just allow us to add more flavor to the main course.

Namaste - Ron

I've decided that the best course of action is to chill and re-channel my intentions into finding a new way to appreciate members who join but don't post.

When I asked myself what value those who would join and then not post were, I came back with this answer

They have indicated that they are interested in furthering their path with this discussion board and are most likely more open to a higher volume of emails than the email newsletter that supports this discussion board. These are also our "future" participation members and we can help lead these folks to participate when the time is right for them.

Thanks for helping me see what I could not see myself.

8)

ejay19

30-01-2005 11:40:07

I like the way this thread has evolved. D

The board will evolve in the same way, I think. wink

Des

30-01-2005 18:47:53

Interesting thread. Congratulations Chris on being able to ease up on this one.
Here's a share which might be called "lurkers are people too" )

Some years ago I had a group which met on a monthly basis, face to face (a "fleshmeet" as the old net hands used to say). I wrote and emailed a report on each gathering - notes on what the guest speaker covered etc. Then the group started to dwindle and one night there were three of us turned up (used to be 50 or 60). I decided to close it down. Sent out an email headed "The dogs bark, the caravan moves on" - and got a deluge of protests from people I had never seen at one of the gatherings. They really enjoyed hearing about what had happened, clearly felt part of the group, but felt no compunction to turn up, send an email or whatever. I sometimes feel it would have been good if I'd been able to come up with an alternative to support those people in their desire to connect.

Chris, I love piping up, as you may have gathered. Not everyone does. But mate, you have created a community here and it looks like it has taken on a few opinions of its own, as good communities do! Go with the flow - it can't hurt )

Des

Anonymous

30-01-2005 19:55:56

...cool stuff guys...Love, Lisa

Anonymous

30-01-2005 20:09:30

thanks for not booting me off because I don't reply - I do like to read what others have to say but I get lots of email and have an email business so I don't have much time or inclination to spend more time than I already do on the computer sending email.

I did want to let others know that there will also be an I Can Do It Conference in Orlando in October in case you can't make Las Vegas. I am an exhibitor at these events and have been to every one since it's started. I can tell you it's worth it to go. You won't regret it. My husband goes to Las Vegas with me every year and has mentioned several times that he's never seen so many happy women in one place in his whole life.

SusanZ

31-01-2005 06:09:47

Good Morning, All!

My time has been very limited lately and I didn't even notice a request to post until I read Chris's email this morning. I must have missed your email last week.

I understand your frustration with the fact that your members aren't posting, but do remember that we all have lives to live too and sometimes our responsibilities don't allow us to take part in discussions, meetings, and such, let alone give us the time we'd like for spiritual contemplation and meditation. This is something I'm currently dealing with. I long for more time for myself, but for the last few months I've been pulled in several different directions to deal with things that are so important for the people around me and not had the chance to just stop, take a deep breath and do things I enjoy.

And, of course, this is something that some of my friends in particular don't understand either. I hear complaints all the time "Why didn't you come over? Why didn't we see you at that party? Why don't you call anymore?"

So, if you don't hear from us on your message board, it's the same thing. We might want to, but we might not be able to. We like taking part when the time allows it, we appreciate the opportunity to take part in discussions of this sort, we like to add value - hey, but there's only so much you can do in a day.....

Thanks for the forum - and thanks for the soapbox!

Love to all!

Susan

PeaceMommy

31-01-2005 09:52:06

Lurking without posting means that the moment that you feel absolutely compelled to post you can. No jumping on and trying to get a log-in name - you already have one. You are part of the group - the community. It may only take a minute or two but it is another obstacle when inspired. As a lurker, you read and you pray for the people that you read about. You read and learn from the other posters. You read and become familiar and the day that God calls you, you post.

I am a big loud-mouth on another board and an occasional contributor to a few others. So many times, people come out of the woodwork and say "You know, I've been reading and praying for you as a lurker for two years. I think you are already receiving wonderful guidance but I just wanted to add this..." And you meet the dear friend that you didn't know you had.

Patience, Christopher. Patience is a virtue and one for good reason. Patience is neither easy nor valued enough. Everyone is on a different path on their own timetable. If you are willing to meet them where they are you will be continually blessed.

Thank you for creating this place. I haven't been here much and I missed the first call-out so my screen name was an endangered species I suppose. But, I've found, as the occasional moderator and consistent forum member, that brief enticing emails to let others know what is happening on the board go much further towards keeping spirits, interest and participation high than authoritative dictates.

Of course, you have been well-intentioned, if you pardon what can only be a play on words in this context, but I think you will eventually see the fruits of your labors. Be mindful of your mentors here.

Anonymous

31-01-2005 17:01:00

I HAVE READ ALMOST EVERY DYER BOOK WRITTEN AND BELEIVE WHEN I HAVE SOMETHING TO SHARE I SHALL, THANKS...A NEWCOMER.....KEEPSMILIN!!! lol

Anonymous

02-02-2005 09:59:44

Hello,

I love what he has to say and hope that i am able to stay apart of
it.
Tim McCrory
Houston Texas

lindamiller

04-02-2005 22:10:41

Thanks Chris. You are indeed a humble and open minded moderator.

Congratulations!

Anonymous

14-02-2005 10:00:22

Thank you to all of you. I am one of those who truly feel I have nothing yet to post. I have followed Dr Dyer's work for several years now although I am still trying to find out what is stopping me from "getting there." I feel like I am in a temporary stage of my life's journey, but how long I will be in this stage and what I need to do to get to the next -- I have absolutely no idea. This board has helped me make sense of a lot of my questions. So THANK YOU. As I learn from all of you, I hope you continue listening to the silence from people like me.

majelmarly

19-02-2005 21:45:05

Having nothin' to say isn't a good thing at all but to say anything anytime is quite unnecessary.
What did happen to you dear humble moderator!!?? you're solliciting for more opinions, ideas, thinking out loud...
people don't have to express themselves all the time.
i'm the kind who expresses herself all the time; how i feel, what's my opinion, why do I adopt this point of view, what should be good values and perspectives, tatatatatttaaaata
people really don't care! or people get hurt or they misunderstood... It's a big big big loss of time and energy!
It's an habit I took in the seventies. It comes from this time of the transpersonal psychology, when people had to be authentic and to say anything about every little thing they live, thought, feel, etc. It was no more authentic than the reality tv shows we have nowadays...

I've read the answers of Ron and Ba. I find it very good and valuable. And those 2 aren't the kind of people talking for talking. They speak but don't lose their time in small talk

chris knight

24-02-2005 20:27:42

What did happen to you dear humble moderator!!?? you're solliciting for more opinions, ideas, thinking out loud...
people don't have to express themselves all the time.

What happened to me?

Noth'n.

This board is a lot like the game of life... some come here to learn, some come to socialize, some to lurk only and others to solve problems or find the next breakthrough in their personal development.

This issue has already been discussed and has run its cycle.

End result is that there is value and merit in members who join the community but never add value in physical form by posting their thoughts.

NEXT! 8)

Anonymous

14-03-2005 21:00:01

I wonder what would Wayne say if he read all our notes. Kudos to Chris AND to all of you who exercise the right to read and live your loving thoughts.

cdwilkins

20-03-2005 14:18:41

With all do respect I agree! While I donot post much I do read and get a lot from what I read. My intention is take get something out of what I have read.

And if and when I am ready to post, it is because I am ready to share some joy, a testimoney, or I am searching for some inner peace that I may looking for not realizing that it was within me all the time. It just needed to surface through someone elses message that was posted. I may not have had the courage to speak up by posting my feelings and what I was searching for. Most or some of us hold back for what ever the reason. But given time I believe our intention is to share in due time.

With Love, Hope & Prayer,
D