Dr. Wayne Dyer

Dr. Wayne Dyer Fan Discussion Board
-By Fans, For Fans-

marital dissolution

Anonymous

02-01-2005 08:56:52

roll So how come nothing is said concerning Wayne`s marital dissolution? i.e. Why did she even seek another relationship?
What has Wayne said about it? Don`t you think this has an impact on Wayne`s overall perspectives? B.

majelmarly

02-01-2005 22:03:45

b solidheart January 2 " So how come nothing is said concerning Wayne`s marital dissolution? i.e. Why did she even seek another relationship? What has Wayne said about it? Don`t you think this has an impact on Wayne`s overall perspectives? "

( shock ? oops idea (

For myself, I wouldn't call it "marital dissolution" but I must tell I find it a bit ironic that a thing like that happened to Wayne Dyer himself...!
I also do think it is not entirely a thing happening to him but more a relationship coming to an end. And about that we don't know.

What sounds strange to the public eye is more that Dr Dyer was always referring and reflecting on his family and marital life, etc. But rather more personally, my reflection is that maybe his wife could have had many reasons to be fed up with him in a day-to-day life... The public person Wayne Dyer is somebody else than the real Wayne in everyday living. There is always a public and a private person, for everyone in the public eyes.

However, more and more, I think that Dr Dyer should explain him more to us. He's been our therapist, even a guide for most of us. Personally, it had always been sort of a mystery that he and his wife Marcellene could have had so many children together. It's not a family ; it's a school or he wanted to found a dynasty. Too prolific for me...
But more seriously, it confers sort a discredit to the entirety of his message and it would be more coherent, congruent and consequent of him to speak more. Because that's not clear at all this way, and when something isn't clear, all the matter becomes gossip, rumours and wrong... And it's not what we deserve, and before all, gossiping is not of the level of the kind of people we tend to be and become...

Anonymous

04-01-2005 19:50:17

Profesional therapists are taught not to share their personal 'stuff' with their clients for a reasons. It is called a "boundary." We should not judge him or her. When we do it says volumes about us, including indicating we are voyeurs. We have no necessity or right to know about their personal reasons or motivations in a relationship. Please leave this alone.

Anonymous

05-01-2005 14:58:10

well put leave it alone is between Dr. wayne Dyer, his form ? er wife, and god.

majelmarly

06-01-2005 18:06:07

I consider I have all the right in the world to judge any subject, people or anything. And as for being judge in turn upon myself by the opinion I told, I' m not afraid about that and I don't care.
So keep on with your "so nice" attitude. But don't be so "morallistic" with me because I really don't care what I look like and what people can think of what I think!!

There's been years and years that Dr Dyer gives us examples and teachings based on his personal and family life. Now I just want him be more authentic. It's another thing we in psychotherapy. And any therapist or spiritual guide or public person having influence on people can't deny is a human being when he is one.

Ba

06-01-2005 21:04:57

[There's been years and years that Dr Dyer gives us examples and teachings based on his personal and family life. Now I just want him be more authentic. It's another thing we in psychotherapy. And any therapist or spiritual guide or public person having influence on people can't deny is a human being when he is one.]

I understand the logic of your statement, but I -- respectfully -- don't agree. Life is a series of experiences, the levels of learning one acquires or accepts within those experiences is up to personal choices throughout that life. Some lessons are easily learned, some more painful, and some ignored all together.

I have heard and read WD give examples from his own life experiences for decades, and have never heard them as anything other than an elaboration on the understanding that sometimes the most profound epiphany comes from the simplest daily life incident when one is open to hearing the song of the epiphany.

I also know for a fact that police officer's children go to jail, doctor's children sicken and die, and teachers children fail within the academic system. Priests deny their vows and healers participate in behaviors that they know are personally and physically harmful. And that judgement, a normal human condition, speaks louder of the one judging that the one judged.

WD is a human being like all else. Personally, I enjoy that fact that he is authentic enough to not hide the joys and sorrows of his life while not actively exposing his family to the intense pressures of public life. That is a pretty amazing skill in today's multi-media and scandal-hungry age.

Bless you for your honesty!

Peace,
Ba

majelmarly

07-01-2005 17:07:28

Thank you Ba,

I understand your point and, even, entirely agree with you.

What I meant about Dr Dyer wasn't involving any curiosity on a personal level. It is just that I'll never understood the phrase "my wife left me for another man". It is bullshit, that phrase. I understand I made myself misunderstood; for I really didn't want to know nothing about the whereabouts of the personal life of Wayne Dyer.

My point was just that, to me, he didn't give the right kind of an answer if he wanted to stop curiosity or personal inquiry. And when I said "to judge", I meant to have an opinion and to have the courage to voice it. But here is not the place.

I'm sorry of having given of myself a so wrong impression. Because, Ba, if you did understand what I intended to say, I realise that (for another of numerous time in my live) I've made a nuisance or a distuber of myself.

...And I'm sort of compelled concluding that I know very well what it to always fall in the same sort of mistakes because I've just fallen...

signed LA GRANDE ETERNELLE INCOMPRISE

Ron

08-01-2005 18:14:13

Do you ever recall reading in Dyer's book that all relationships are for us a learning experience, and when the lessons are learned, the relationship could end and we move on to another relationship. Relationships are not necessarily forever. In a relationship the two people are student/teacher to each other. When nothing is left to learn, they may go their separate ways - it happens. Does it really, truly matter to Dyer's readers why he and his wife are separated? Nope! What matters is that we take what Wayne has written and start putting it into practice - don't judge others unless you too wish to be judged. And for those who are "appalled" at the Dyer split - perhaps you placed Wayne on a pedestal when he never was there.

Namaste - Ron

chris knight

08-01-2005 18:30:14

And for those who are "appalled" at the Dyer split - perhaps you placed Wayne on a pedestal when he never was there.

Ron, You reminded me of a saying my Father taught me

Every human (including the ones we put on a pedestal as better than us) wakes up and puts their pants on one leg at a time just like we do.

When I was 18-19 years old, that was a lesson I needed to learn.

I now see folks like Wayne Dyer as just another human... with different skills, abilities and faults just like I have different skills, abilities, and faults.

I wonder what it is about our societies need to put celebrities or famous authors up on a pedestal... What payoff does that provide us?

Ron

08-01-2005 18:41:58

Chris asked "I wonder what it is about our societies need to put celebrities or famous authors up on a pedestal... What payoff does that provide us?"

Anyone and everyone we place on pedestals is a symbol of a god to us - and this keeps the separation plan of ego very much alive. We place others on pedestals because we actually fear them - they are so much better than I - they know it all - they are a guru - they are my idol, etc .
Sounds all too familiar right? And when the god on the pedestal does something that we think is wrong, we are shocked at their behavior and begin to throw things - slurs, gossip, judgment, etc. - at them to knock them off the pedestal. When you read Dyer - any of Dyer's books - you get from his words that we are all equal - no one is more than another, unless we want to think they are. And that includes the Great Teacher from the Bible - Jesus. He, too, was no different from us and yet look at how high up we placed him. It is not the man we should be seeing, but the words the man imparts to us. That is all Jesus wanted us to hear - the words. That is all Dyer asks as well. Dyer says often that the words do not come from him, from Spirit within.

And if you question the bit about pedestals - look at how we place individuals there and how we take them down - all with thoughts in our mind. And not thoughts of love.

Namaste - Ron

majelmarly

09-01-2005 19:57:28

Again, Thank you Ron,

But please read what I posted on January 7, signed under
"la grande éternelle incomprise", and you'll see that what I meant wasn't mere curiosity and that I still feel very bad about having talked about that subject (at first, simply as in answer to a question) oops shock

I also feel that you're making me moral and I really hate when people are doing that ... above all when I've been completely misunderstood

Bye and thanks for your kindness, in spite of our little misunderstood...

Ron

10-01-2005 19:45:12

majelmarly - It appears that I having several people use the word "misunderstanding" to me lately - ) I do not judge you but you appear to doing that to yourself - your statement "you're making me moral and I really hate when people are doing that" - I was talking about "placing people of pedestals" - and not directly at you at all. Just generalities. When I feel that someone has misunderstood me, I look at what I said and see how they could see that - sometimes I can see it and other times not. It really doesn't matter. Perhaps, just perhaps, your topic was meant to have a discussion on "pedestal placements" and has nothing to do with the break-up of the Dyers. Just perhaps...

Namaste - Ron

massimo8

26-01-2005 13:42:56

Hello

I've read through this particular group of postings and was fascinated by each and every message. It seems that no matter how hard we try as peolpe inhabiting this earth, we all share one common trait. We are fallible, every last one of us. When it comes to the topic of the Dyers divorce, who really cares, I'm not being flippant. Think of this for a moment, has anyone ever heard or read, Wayne Dyer has proclaimed himself infallible, to be a prophet, or a messiah for that matter. All he is, is a human being attempting to to discern his way through all the man made ego dominated dogmas of religions and spirituality. I've come upon posts, not only on this topic but through out this message board, that depending on which perspective one chooses to take when reading the posts; can be "viewed" as either self absorbed followers of Dyer, skeptics, and admitedly like myself just flat-out lost. I've seen where some give themselves lofty titles under their names, and can quote Dyer chapter and verse, but never really take the time to give there own perspective when offering advice. I've read the posts of the desperate, seeking solutions to heartbreak. And I've read the posts that responded to those on this site that were at their wits end, offering kindness, compassion love and true concern, that touched my heart. No matter what spiritual or religious beliefs any of us hold on this site, there is one common thread to all, we are all a part of something bigger and more profound than any of us could dream or understand. Everyone of us here, are always looking to find the answers to understanding and leading a better and fullfilling life, filled with love, happiness, and peace. I personally have been drawn to reading Dyer's books and tapes, because of experiences in my life where the Universe certainly handled the details. My interest is to be able to stay connected to that source. Anyway...I always try to keep in mind, plenty of saints were sinners, and plenty of sinners were saints. You know Dyer has been asked many questions about the very issue of relationships falling apart...this just may be his chance to help so many broken hearted people deal with it from his experience. Like my father said to me, never judge a man till you've walked in his shoes. Dyer could never answer the questions pertaining to the questions of broken relationships because he had no experience of it till now. Perhaps this could be a new benchmark for him.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL

massimo8

Ron

26-01-2005 14:29:11

Totally enjoyed your post on this subject - Hooray for you for speaking your mind - telling it like it is - or perhaps seeing like it is! If anyone sees Wayne on any type of pedestal, you can be sure he did climb up there - but was placed there by someone.

Namaste - Ron

Anonymous

27-01-2005 19:46:37

I guess we are infinite beings... sharing human experiences. I suppose these experiences can be further 'judged' as good, bad or otherwise.... does it matter when it is all really just a learning process? Some lessons are more difficult than others - the right and wrong of things seem to lose value when viewed as an opertunity to learn. I'm glad I haven't needed to learn this relationship lesson - at least not yet. The things that happen to us, do so for a reason - not coincidence! This is something Wayne needed to learn/experience... that doesn't mean all of us need to learn or experience this too. This lesson was on the road of his journey - not all of our roads are the same lessons.

We will move on with the understanding - this is where he currently is and then he will continue on...


With peace.....

jcblanco22

31-01-2005 09:06:01

Just to provide another perspective on this matter, I myself would be fascinated to hear Wayne elaborate more on what occurred with his marriage, and not because I am any type of voyeur or anything of the sort.

For starters, I would like to learn about what happened because when he did speak about it in the magazine interview he came across as if it was something he never saw coming, something that came completely out of the blue. With that being the case, I would love for him to expound on how and why he feels he created that outcome in his life. Perhaps he had a deep-seeded and unconscious belief that he deserved abandonment because of his experience with his father? As his good friend Neale Donald Walsch would say in CWG, perhaps this was his Sponsoring Thought about being valued in a personal relationship (in a very unconscious way). Who really knows, but with his terrific insight, I am sure he has examined the matter thoroughly and would have some very valuable perspectives to offer on it.

Second of all, I would be fascinated to hear him recount how he dealt with the shock of what happened, if he had to fight with himself to not hate or lash out, etc. I would like to know if he is now friends with Marcelene and even her new boyfriend/husband, and how he went about accomplishing this very forgiving and divine act if he in fact is on good terms with them. I think there would be very valuable insight for all of his readers and followers on how to handle deep personal tragedy in one's life and how not to create it for oneself.

Having said all of that, who's to say there's not an upcoming book from WD on forgiveness/dealing with loss of relationships? I would not be at all surprised if he converted this personal devastation into an opportunity to heal and educate, as he has wonderfully done many times before.

Anonymous

31-01-2005 18:35:50

Sometimes the conditions we live in, or surround ourselves with become something very different than what was first imagined or desired. What once was the goal, is now ... just a thing - and that can drive a spouse crazy. The learning was nothing like anything I ever expected. It reminds me of a poem from San Juan de la Cruz, Dichos de Luz y Amor

The conditions of a solitary bird are five
The first, that it flies to the highest point;
the second, that it does not suffer for company, not even of its own kind;
the third, that it aims its beak to the skies;
the fourth, that it does not have a definite color;
the fifth, that it sings very softly.

Perhaps this part of his journey - he must do alone... Either he or his ex-wife could tell us ... but does that really change anything?

massimo8

05-02-2005 01:20:37

Hello

I've posted several times prior to this, airing my thoughts on certain topics and looking for advice from others. Though one thread I keep seeing, are people who come here wth a negative out look. Some vent their frustrations over not having faith in anything, or those who wish to lord their religious, or spiritual beliefs over those who happen to be following a different path. Most will quote the Bible to butress their view in condemning our journey, hopping to remove the proverbial scales from our eyes, and guide us toward true salvation.

I had read the topic pertaining to Dyer and his daughter's problem concerning the lyrical content of the "Prayer of Saint Francis." I went to the link where Torri happens to lambaste Dyer, and new age religion. It's funny though, I was a catholic, and spent the first seven years of obtaining my education in a parochial school. Though I find it difficult to understand how people such as she, can stand behind the teachings of an organized religion that for years, has ignored the severity of the attrocious conduct of their priests. I'm in no way condemning all priests, or people that follow the catholic faith. In my life I've met many that were kind and compassionate spiritual people.

However, while reading her article in the catholic publication, it came to mind, that, where she had quoted chapter and verse to discredit Dyer, one could just as easily qoute chapter and verse to discredit her. The issue she makes over Dyer changing the word Lord to love, had me baffled. If this woman would take the time to have at least read through some of Dyer's books, she would have gained the knowlege Dyer uses many different names when refering to God. And he does that in order not alienate anyones basic religious or spiritual beliefs. All he asks is the reader to have an open mind, and consider his ideas. Basically he tells you; call God what ever name you like, but know God is there in your life at all times. To me, that does not sound "new age."

Wayne Dyer has never made a secret that he himsef is on his own "never ending siritual journey," that continues to lead him down different paths. Is he right? Who knows, though it's certain his writtings and perspectives have helped people in turn their lives around. Is he earning a living from his writtings? He sure is. Though maybe the most important question is, is he sincere in his beliefs? And I feel the answer to that is undoubtedly YES, he is. Are his ideas radical when compared to those of organized religion? Without a doubt. But like the old saying goes, "No good deed goes unpunished." I know I've rambled on here, but In closing I can't help but think of a quote by Mark Twain I feel is an appropriate note to end with. Mark Twain once said, "The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out the conservative adopts them."

GOD BLESS YOU ALL

massimo8

Anonymous

07-02-2005 19:28:55

Jesus was considered a radical in his time... perhaps we are viewed as radicals as well. Perhaps all we want is to be whole and/or experience the Totality of the self - to know no bounds...

I think you have many good points massimo8, the relegious views are a matter of interpretation and dogma/rituals... that is fine for many people, that is all the spiritual level they acheive. That is not nearly enough for me. I demand much more of myself.

...and to think I was under the impression only TV evangalists sinned and asked for money... I suppose we've all blown it one time or another. At least they are trying to make amends - that's more I can say for some. I agree that not all are bad and as a matter of fact, I'd venture that it is only a small percentage of priests/holly ones are bad.

I think we are - misunderstood - mostly due to ignorance [not stupidity].

ccwriter5

20-02-2005 12:34:27

I am new to this Forum, and have spent some time reading through different posts. Though I realize that this particular subject is not new, it is new to me, and I just wanted to add my two cents here. It is amazing to me that anyone who reads Dyer's book, or any other books along the same lines, could truly feel in their hearts that the Dyers owe us any kind of explanation about their marital difficulties. The heart of the Dyer books is that we are in charge of our own lives, and that it is our charge and our responsibility to live those lives in the way that we choose. If anyone has written anything that you have read that has helped you in any way, then be grateful, but being a fan, or even a very good fan, or a very, very, very loyal fan, or the biggest fan in the world, doesn't give any of us the right to expect a piece of the author of those books. The authors, especially of spiritual self-help books, are merely that - authors. If we expect them to be anything more than that then shame on us. The Dyers owe us nothing in way of explanation. If Dr. Dyer (for who am I to call him Wayne? I don't know him) chooses to write a book in the future about his sorrows and tragedies, that will be his choice. If that should happen, remember this...that book, too, will be just that a book. Should it in some way bring you peace, or help you somehow on your own personal journey, then again, be grateful.

kjkane47

22-02-2005 13:52:46

Everything happens the way it is supposed to. There are no accidents. )

Anonymous

01-04-2005 20:46:16

I have been going bonkers these last few days because I saw Dr. Dyer on T.V. the other night selling his wares and he made no mention of his wife, and wasn't wearing his wedding band. I am a huge fan of his work, and he always mentioned how much of a spiritual bond he and his wife had. I am totally surprised to hear he is separated. It took me days of web searches to find this site and find out the news.

Anonymous

02-04-2005 11:42:04

Do you ever recall reading in Dyer's book that all relationships are for us a learning experience, and when the lessons are learned, the relationship could end and we move on to another relationship. Relationships are not necessarily forever. In a relationship the two people are student/teacher to each other. When nothing is left to learn, they may go their separate ways - it happens. Does it really, truly matter to Dyer's readers why he and his wife are separated? Nope! What matters is that we take what Wayne has written and start putting it into practice - don't judge others unless you too wish to be judged. And for those who are "appalled" at the Dyer split - perhaps you placed Wayne on a pedestal when he never was there.

Namaste - Ron I'm new to this site and so excited to have found it! I was sad when I 1st. heard rumbleings of Dyers and wifes split several months ago, and now all these months later it is confirmed. I could not wrap my own mind at first around the concept of the split, but now my thoughts have shifted, and I hold no judgement. My 3 1/2 year relationship ended 4 months ago, I had many painful lessons to learn, that I could not have learned any other way. Life is about lessons & everyone on our path our teachers, and the only thing we can truly count on is change. I really liked what you had to say, the voice of reason! I am beging to to know and feel I am the only one I own. peace to you! Lola

Anonymous

02-04-2005 17:23:24

While I am not sure why Wayne chose to seek another relationship, I do have a some insight. Raising 9 children with the same person could be difficult for anyone. I imagine over the years that put a strain on their relationship. Second, after his health complications I think he needed a change in environment. Maintaining his physical and mental well being became a central part of his life. Over the few years that I personally came to know Wayne, I think being able to have a strong emotional connection to your wife/ partner is key to survival, his work, and overall happiness. If you have any other questions about my experiences with Wayne, feel free to e-mail me. As Wayne would say "All love and light"

Ron

04-04-2005 19:39:31

Even Wayne probably does not know why he chose another relationship other than everything in our life is a relationship - when one is over we go to the next and have many at the same time. Raising nine children (we raised 6) does not put a strain on a relationship if that relationship is built on love. If that were the case, there would only be families with one child. His health complications showed him what health complications show all of us - even though we think we may it all under control, someone else has other plans for us. Wayne did maintain his mental and physical well-being.

You wrote..."I think being able to have a strong emotional connection to your wife/ partner is key to survival, his work, and overall happiness."

I was married for 32 years - while I had an emotional tie with my wife, I did not look to her for my happiness nor my survival, nor my work. I look to her for companionship and friendship. Relationships come and go - always there is within a lesson for us to learn - and then we move on. Why do we waste so many words on a Wayne's marriage ending when we could be far more helpful to others by discussing his many works. It is not his words that grabs me - it is not his style that interests me - it is not even his subject matter that I turn to. What I receive from Wayne's writings is the message I am supposed to read - to hear.

Wayne doesn't want to be look up to - he wants to be look straight at in the eye. And seeing as how you use the expression "All love and light" - do you have any idea what it means?

Namaste - Ron