I cannot speak to your childhood experiences, however it sounds like you share self-sabatoging behavior with me. I have a very difficult time getting out of my comfort zone. I spend a lot of time contemplating what I want to surround myself with, and very little time taking positive action to do so. I think I am one of those folks afraid of succeeding. If you need encouragment to start meeting your goals and having people pull for you, I think you found the right place.
I learned that the "dysfunctional" home that I grew up in was a teaching learning place---as a result I learned many things; compassion for "where my parents were at the time they raised me", I have come to understand (at least partially) that their "dysfunction" was simply a symptom of their own patterns that they learned---and chose to carry with them into their own children's lives. I have come to view my parents by looking at them as God would look at them. Learning this was not an immediate process---it took time--patience and understanding. Try to see where "their" pain is/was etc. It is then you will begin to understand that the "dysfunction" is "the best they could have done at that time in their lives". The most empowering thing for me was the realization that despite what circumstances that I experienced in my childhood ---I have the power to create joy and happiness in my life. Best Wishes, Sharon G
Two quick thoughts...
Along the lines of what Ashley had said, your parents did the best that they knew how to do at the time. I see that in my own life now as I have my own family and reflect back on my parents behavior.
And a brutally honest friend of mine once had this reply to a comment I made about my parents.... "Brian, there has to be a statute of limitations on parental crime, its time you take responsibility for your own actions, your own life...."
Make it a great day!
That's a great remark your friend made. I love continuing to blame my parents. It's so much easier than taking responsibility myself. It's time for me to acknowledge things and MOVE ON! Thanks for sharing that.