Dr. Wayne Dyer

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Need help in Meditation for Manifesting goal.


10-12-2004 13:21:50

Hi, I'm writing this because I am having trouble Meditation for Manifesting on a personality "problem" I have. I was hoping someone out there could help me to focus in on a good meditation to manifest. Basically, I am an introverted male who whereever I work at or go people always tell me "you're too quiet" or something like "You're shy." It is really hurtful to be continually told this since I have been trying to overcome this personality trait of introversion and shyness throughout my life.
So I have recently been meditating for manifesting about myself being talkative and louder and laughing with others at my school or elsewhere in my meditations. I thought it was working good, but I think recently I have hit a roadblock and it hasn't been working as good since I feel I have been more introverted and "quiet" again and feel more disconnected from my classmates.
So my question is what do you think I should meditate on? Being more confident? Seeing myself overcoming my shyness? Being more talkative? I have been doing that and it seemed I am still introverted and "quiet" still recently.
Or should I continue to meditate on what I have been manifesting on and just ride through this roadblock while modifying the meditation a bit with me being more confident and extroverted?
Can you Please give me some suggestion on this?



11-12-2004 07:52:07

It appears that you have place your intention in the Universe. Now let go of it and let is come to you. You probably will not even know its existence and just discover one day that you are as you intended.

I would also suggest reading "Pulling Your Strings" by Dyer. It is one of his older books, but neve out of style.

Namaste - Ron


11-12-2004 09:18:13

Hi, I'm writing this because I am having trouble Meditation for Manifesting on a personality "problem" I have.

Several things come to mind J. First of all, do you feel good when you are ‘trying’ to be more talkative and extroverted? If it is not joyful for you to be this way, manifesting it is not going to happen. You have said that you are not feeling good when people comment on your being too shy or too quiet. Do you feel good about the way you are when people are not making comments? What I am getting at here is that if your motivation for being more talkative and extroverted is because of other people’s thoughts about you, that is not a good reason to try to be that way. (See “being a victim” elsewhere in this forum at http://wayne-dyer.inspiresyou.com/viewtopic.php?t=612.)

It has been said that you cannot change what you cannot accept. I, too, have always been quiet and introverted. Parties are not necessarily my favorite place to be. But I learned to accept myself long ago. I am quietly confident. Rather than feeling I don’t talk enough, I prefer to think that I am a good listener, which I am. When I do have something to say, it is something that people want listen to. I feel good about myself just the way I am. And that is a prerequisite to change.

What I am suggesting here is that you to learn to accept yourself as you are…with maybe a different slant on how you think about yourself. If you are being shy and quiet, you cannot attract being talkative and extroverted. By accepting yourself as you are, joyfully, then you can begin to attract something else if you so choose. But as long as you are thinking about what is, whether you want it or not, that is what you attract. It has to be that way according to the Law of Attraction that says, ‘that which is like unto itself is drawn’. Only by feeling good about yourself as you are, can you hope to begin to attract something else. You must come from a joyful place in order to create joyfully, which is the only way you can create something you want as opposed to something you don’t want…or already is.

That being said, if being more confident, talkative and extroverted is what you really want, here are a couple of exercises that will help you on your journey…and it is the journey that counts.

Take a sheet of paper and write across the top what it is that you want, e.g., ‘I choose to be more confident, talkative and extroverted’. Below that write down all the reasons why you choose to be that way. Just write what comes naturally, don’t force it. Then, on the reverse side of the page, write down all the reasons why you think you will actually be that which you have written down. My suggestion is that you start with being joyful and confident about the way you are and then add the other things, should you so choose, at a later time.

The next exercise is to take a few minutes once or twice a day, not to meditate, but to think about and visualize yourself as the way you choose to be. Go to a place (literally or figuratively), where you can relax and be undisturbed during this time. Close your eyes and, as WD says, ‘think from the end’ about how you choose to be in different circumstances, e.g., at work, at school, and in various social settings, and about how you choose to be with various people in your life, e.g., family members, friends, classmates, or co-workers. The more you think about what you choose to be (rather than about what you are), the more emotion your Inner Being will bring to you. When you really get excited about what you are visualizing, you have launched your creation and the Universe starts bringing it to you. Then let it go and let God. (All manifesting requires both thought and emotion, but it is your Source that will provide the emotion, once your thoughts are clear enough…feelings are the language of the Soul).

During your days, there will be times when the old you wants to re-assert itself, (your ego is taking it back from God) which of course, makes you feel bad, and you begin re-attracting that which you are, rather than that which you choose to be. When that happens, immediately change your thoughts to what you wrote and to what you have been visualizing in the exercises. They are the tools you have created to help you to manifest that which you desire. You will notice that you will start to feel good again. Always pay attention to your feelings. They are your Inner Guide telling you that you are either moving toward what you desire or away from what you desire, depending on whether you are feeling good or feeling bad. Again, as WD says, ‘I want to feel good’! When you are feeling good, you are attracting all sorts of good things in your life. According to the Law of Attraction, it must be so.



20-01-2005 23:13:02

The thing that jumps out at me is that you are who you are. Being quiet is a gift that most people do not understand. Let me ask if you are called on by your friends to hear their problems or concerns. If this is true, which I think it is, this means that they value you as a great listener and someone who has the wisdom to come up with good advise. This is a blessing.

Meditation to me, is a way for you to communicate and become one with the universe. This is a place for you to ask for the things you want in your life, but it is also a place to listen to the wisdom of the universe. I say keep listening!


21-01-2005 11:40:36

I also echo what the others here have said. I am also a quiet person, rather intensely so at times, and have lead a life filled with people telling me 'you're too quiet', 'don't you ever talk?', and my least favorite 'smile why don't ya'.

I used to stress myself to a rediculous degree, trying to be more outgoing, trying to talk when I really had nothing to say, trying to be what *other people* thought that I should be. All I ended up doing in this pursuit was waisting alot of lovely time hating myself and trying to bully myself into changing (changing into something that I knew I wasn't and really....in my core, didn't even want to be).

During this time, I felt terrible about myself, so this (since I really had nothing to say, but was compelling myself to talk anyway) is all that I talked about. In this putting myself down and making fun of myself for being so quiet, I started to teach people to treat me in this same degrading way. It didn't take long before I had half a town full of people, putting me down, making me the butt of all of their jokes, and I sank deep into a self loathing depression. It turned into a hateful cycle that I paid for dearly as far as my spirit went....as far as alot of things went.

*Self acceptance* cannot be stressed enough. In accepting one's self, one starts to nurture themselves, in all respects, no matter what other people may say. Being a quiet person is sooooo NOT a bad thing. The world needs introspective people, people who contamplate quietly and think deep thoughts. That is a good thing my friend, a needed thing in this life. Change only if YOU want to. Nurture yourself in the ways that YOU deem best for your self. If you end up deciding to get even quieter as a person, then I say good for you! If that's what fills your soul with joy, then follow your bliss.

*But please don't stop posting though if you need any help. Being quiet when you need help can be counter productive. ((((((((hugs to you))))))

Mr. Scott

21-01-2005 14:35:53

I was (and still am to some degree) a quiet guy, so I know where you're coming from. For me, it wasnt that I didnt have anything to say, I think it came from insecurity or something. Maybe this applies to you, maybe it doesnt, but what helped me was just being mentally in a state of love towards everybody. I know it sounds kinda dorky, but how can being in a state of appreciation and love for other people be a BAD thing? Once you really realize that, its pretty easy to commit to the idea. If youre shy/quiet, I doubt you are shy/quiet around EVERYBODY you know. If you are in one of those states where you wish you could just be yourself around people and not be so quiet, then truly seeing and appreciating the genius in other people, and loving the fact that they are humans in the same human condition as you (and appreciating them for it) will make you feel good about yourself, in turn giving you confidence. It levels the playing field so to speak -- hell, it totally gets rid of the playing field and removes ego's annoying tendency of getting in the way. You don't even have to say anything - its probably better that you dont - but if you go out in public and quietly (on the inside) make a concious effort to develop a profound respect for every person you see, your energy will grow because you are truly growing love inside of you. This love has no choice but to manifest itself in the material world. The best way to love yourself is to love others, and when you love yourself you are confident and comfortable in your own skin - and whadayaknow, when you feel happy with who you are ego based shyness just sort of takes a back seat to YOU. Good luck dude. And I'm quoting the Beatles here (sorry Dyer...) "In the end the love you take is equal to the love you make"



05-02-2005 05:16:13

Thanks for the advice. I appreciate it. I will try to be more loving to everyone. Let's see what happens.

Thanks to all for you advice.



21-02-2005 09:11:48

I'm new to this forum discussion and I'm loving the abundance of advice.

My question to you is "What are you focused on?" I've read all the wonderful advice everyone has given you, and even myself can choose to feel overwhelmed by it all.

Choose to focus on the abundance of love.

I want to refer you to a book that helped me hear the silence, so that you can hear the answer to your question that you hold inside your heart. The author is Leonard Jacobson, and the book is "Words from Silence". Read the section 'The old man and the river'. (it's short and sweet) It's a philosophy I use when I am teaching my art students. When you pay attention to everything that is around you in the here and now....what sounds do you hear, what do you smell, what do you actually see (without judgement, or pre-conceived notions), listen to your heartbeat right here and now.....then you will be amazed at how you lose focus on the fears and constant chatter of your mind, and you can hear what deep down in your soul you know to be the right answer of whether you are trying to be someone you are not, and how to love who you are.

I have learned much by being a silent observer. And I can be outgoing and loud when the spirit overcomes me.

"A bird can fly, but a fly can't bird." The Tao of Pooh" by Benjamin Hoff
Just be yourself. D



15-03-2005 19:39:21

Still I've thought about it, but one of my main question is since I am introverted and shy and quiet, I'd like to meditate in manifesting to help me be more assertive and confident and louder and less scared of people or situations in general.
So my question is what in particular should I meditate on to manifest? For example, I know if you are focusing on purchasing a new car, you focus on getting that new car. That's your goal. And if you want to take a trip, you meditate on going on that trip. But in terms of my problem with being scared of people and being shy and quiet, I can't seem to focus in on a goal to help me in dealing with this problem. In other words, I don't know exactly what to manifest on because I can't seem to narrow a goal in order to deal with my shyness? Do you understand my question? I mean it's easy to meditate on a car if that's what you want. But what do you manifest on to overcome shyness or quietness?????

What about focusing in on getting 1 or 2 close friends? Would that be good? I don't know. Can someone help me?



chris knight

15-03-2005 20:22:45

...I don't know exactly what to manifest on because I can't seem to narrow a goal in order to deal with my shyness?

Let me guess You're getting more of "not knowing exactly how to manifest" and more of "not being able to narrow a goal on your shyness identity"... Remember Dyer on how we get whatever we focus on most and how you can never get enough of what you don't want?

My suggestion Become and instantly decide to be what it is you want most.

Do not attempt to be "not shy"
but rather, attempt to be "confident when interacting with others."

When you're ready to "allow" these things into your life, they will show up in uncommon hours. 8)


16-03-2005 08:19:19

So Chris, you're saying meditate on being "confident when interacting with others"? So instead of meditating on a specific goal if that's what I would be trying to manifest like a new car, instead I would meditate on being confident with others which is not really a tangible goal but a state of mind and feelings, right? Since seeing myself as confident when with others isn't a thing like a car or a home, I would just be manifesting this state of mind, correct?
You don't think manifesting this state of mind is too general, do you? I mean I hope it's effective. Do you think another thing I could manifest would be seeing myself as confident when interacting with at least a certain number of people like a goal of 2 or 3 people? That way I would be meditating on a specific goal number. That could work too, right?
Yeah, I know it's probably up to me, but I was just trying to get an idea of this.
But I do agree with your post, thanks alot for it. I also thank you for reminding me not to try to be "not shy." That's something maybe I was doing.

Thanks alot.


chris knight

16-03-2005 09:44:27

Perhaps another suggestion

Just BE what it is that you want.

For example I own a $12 million dollar Gulfstream Jet

In real life?

Nope, not yet.

In 5 years, you bet it will show up because I'm actively thinking about it daily.

Same goes for my abs.

I want 9.9% bodyfat, therefore I have decided to become a person that has 9.9% body fat.

Whenever the urge comes for me to do something that does not support that intention, I ask myself how a person with 9.9% bodyfat would act? ...and then I do that action.

Be your strongest intentions.


18-03-2005 13:06:06

Having a tangible goal, as opposed to an untangible emotion for a goal. How do you focus on that???

You feel comfortable on focusing on having 1 or two people as friends...here's a suggestion for contemplating yourself as surrounded by this desire...
Have you ever seen this scenerio before, either in a movie or real life? do you admire anyone in real life or even a character in a movie that acts the way you wish to??
I'm a good one for daydreaming or "visualizing". I can take a scene from a movie where I would like to create the scenerio in my life, so I replace the main character with me. Be a kid again and daydream yourself in the scenerio, change the location if you want, change the outcome...visualize big dreams - (don't limit yourself)...if you can contemplate it, you can create it.

I just had a crazy thought...maybe, if it would help, you and I can visualize together some scenerios where you and I are real good friends. I have a wonderful pool party visualization at my future $3 million dollar house that you are most certainly invited to. I can even ask the other guests to leave so that the crowd isn't so big. We can do that here in the forum or privately through email. let me know what you think.

Most of all, just relax and have fun with your visualizations and meditations. After all, they are yours and nobody can take them away from you!! D

Trust in the universe that created you. Don't focus on the "how", focus on the "Yes, I can...and when I'm ready, it will just happen".
Peace and Light


20-03-2005 09:33:46

Thanks Haragei and Chris, I'll try to follow your advice. I appreciate it.