Dr. Wayne Dyer

Dr. Wayne Dyer Fan Discussion Board
-By Fans, For Fans-

How I found this group (etc)


04-07-2004 09:16:31

First of all, about 1 1/2 weeks ago (from now) I received an invitation in my email to join a yahoo egoup called POSITIVE DISCUSSION. I clicked to join. Had I found it myself, and read about it first I wouldn't have joined it, because it was one of those "all posts require approval before being allowed on" ones. In my own experience, these haven't been do good. For one thing they are slow and it's hard to follow the thread.

Because it seemed like, well POSTIVIE DISCUSSION (like a support group, kind, loving, encouraging, accepting) I set it on "email" and had it come in my Outlook Express mail. I'm not used to using this, I have a yahoo email address. I usually put no email, read on web only with groups because it fills my mail and is hard to follow with emails coming in (in my case new ones come in on top so I read them from the bottom up).

But, I jumped right in, thinking it was just what I needed (positive support and sharing/joining)

I read a welcoming post from a moderator saying "write whatever you want, long or short".

There was instructions about cutting off all the Yahoo ads, etc. stuff on the bottom and trimming other's posts out. I tried to remember this, but it took me a little bit to get used to it. Never having used Outlook Express for an egroup. I was also deleting posts AS I responded to them, to keep my mail from filling up. I didn't think all of my posts were showing up, so asked "if a post isn't allowed on, would the writer be notified of this and told why?" I received the answer YES and hardly any posts weren't let on. outright obscene ones and spam were just deleted.

I received an email from one of the moderators that I felt was, well kind of critical and lecturing. It included part of an email I had sent, I had mistakenly left on (the top when I responded to it, mine was only a few sentences under it) they had highlighted in yellow, showing me WHAT I should have taken off. LIke I was an idiot and had to be shown. It went on about the length of my posts and how they should only be 3-4 paragraphs long and they were holding some of my longer ones, and would like my permission to edit them and post them in parts.

I wrote back and said not to bother, that might lose the flow and whateve meaning they had. I also said I was sorry for not doing it right. I added the feedback that I didn't like personal emails about something about the group, it seemed like "behind the back" and what involved the group should be open on the group. Who knows what else goes on with others, that "the group" doesn't know about and never will? Who knows how many people feel jumped on in personal emails and drop off and people on the group don't know about it. I said I didn't find this positive and supportive (to now feel like I'm going to get jumped on behind the scenes about petty things) an alternative might have been to write a post on the group, reminding "everyone" about trimming posts and being brief.

I had also been told not to leave in previous posts. I said I found that confusing, because I didn't (always) know WHAT the post I was reading was referring to? I was later told to save previous posts in my email and go reread them to find out, or go on the web and read them in the archives. I noticed that others weren't taking out all the previous posts and being brief. One person answered my post INSIDE it, using a different color, and it was maybe 20 paragraphs in all. (I wonder if she got a behind the back lecture or unsubbed?)

I got another email back, saying (basically) it's their group and this is how it's done. And if I don't like it I can find one I like better. There was much more, and I was tempted to write back and explain my feelings about it, but I didn't.

I did try and go by this on the group after that. One post I got on the group just said "sitting and watching t.v. for 20 hours a day and eating chips isn't good!" I wrote on it, I have no idea what this refers to, but it sounds right.

The next morning I noticed there were no posts in my mail from the POSITIVE DISCUSSION group. I checked on the home page and it said "you are not a member of this group". I had been unsubbed without a word.

I felt really bad about this! Well, it was mainly a surprise and kind of a shock, because the group (itself) seemed like nice, kind, sharing people. I had some discussions going on with some, one of them asked me about putting text (affirmations) on pictures and I tried to explain and offered to do it, if she posted the pictuer and quote she wanted on.

I had no way of telling them why I was no longer there. Even if I could have still written to the group, posts about this would not be allowed on. Even though it was truth and what was really going on, it wouldn't have
"looked good" on the group. Even if someone felt bad about being unsubbed that was too bad. I made the mistake of asking questions and saying how I felt to the mods. Being HONEST?

I had a few posts in my mail from the day before, and got the email addresses of a few and wrote and let them know what happened, where I went on the list. They wrote back, expressing shock and surprise. We agreed "who knows how often this happens? A person just disappears off the group- and nobody knows why".

One person (who can tell his own story if he wants ) said he, too had been unsubbed from the group without a word.

One wrote that the moderator(s) had been joining other egroups in order to get the member lists and send invitations to everyone on them. Then, apparently, out of the people who joined, they were weeding out ones they didn't want on their group (and not telling others this). So the group could be kept a certain way, and easily manipulated and controlled.

Something about this I don't like, so I'm glad I found out about it at the start. Working behind the scenes to KEEP a group a certain way, editing posts, approving them, unsubbing people (who ask questions and say how they feel?) like too bad- this is OUR group and if you don't like it, you're off.

I don't plan to dwell on this, I found Chris' list because of it, and as he told me "forget about it!" Move on. I thinki it was more the surprise of it, after I'd gotten into the group, feeling positive support (from the members, not the mods) and open and trusting. I also felt really bad I couldn't tell those I had been writing to what happened.

A few I didn't have the email address for, and some didn't have an address showing.

I'm only writing about it here (once) in case anyone else saw the link to this board Chris posted and joined, or is reading here.

This is why I'm not longer on the POSTIVIE DISCUSSION group. I didn't just start getting to know people, and offer (to put text on a picture) and share and then leave.

I'd just like people to know "the truth". Which seems to be covered up, and hidden and go on behind the backs of the members there. While they happily go on posting and feeling like they're joining in positive support, acceptance and love.

But the group LOOKS GOOD. Doesn't matter who gets hurt along the way. And who knows what else goes on under the surface adn how many others are deemed "undesirable" and unsubbed?

Actually, they did me a favor by letting me know this so soon.

I'm getting over it and I'll live )

~ Carrie


17-07-2004 13:30:48

Hey Starchild lol

Welcome to the group. I how you have a better expierence here. I'm new here to and quite glad to be..
Enjoy your stay.... wink P

chris knight

21-07-2004 06:15:16

One person (who can tell his own story if he wants ) said he, too had been unsubbed from the group without a word.
*Raising hand* -- ok, it was me. I was removed from their group without a word as well. It was surprising considering that I was first invited and then removed without a word.

They wanted to censor my SIG line or would have preferred that I only posted without a SIG line (which was a link to this discussion board). I think the list owners felt that their email list members were scarce and not infinite.

So, like friends coming and going from your life, the "Positive Discussions" list was not exactly positive for me -- but in the big picture of life, it's a moment in time and forgotten.

Would rather spend my time with this group or any group pursuing abundance rather than scarcity. 8)


01-09-2004 08:26:54

" Hi " Starchild D

I'm so sorry you had this experience. I stay well away from Yahoo discussion rooms after experiencing some real negativity.

" Thank You " for your honesty, it will save alot of grief for other people thinking about joining this particular forum.

I'm sure your experience here will be a pleasant one.

" I wish you well on your journey ". D